Money…Yep…Money, the bible states that
“ For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil. Some people, eager for money, have wandered from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs.” 1 Timothy 6:10.
So, as I have said before, I am not working. I am receiving some money from Unemployment Insurance (in Canada you pay in to it when working). This is going to run out rather soon.
To make things even better, my ex-husband is requesting child support (there was catch up from him before now), there are fees for lawyers (due to this as well,) our property taxes are due which are hundreds more than expected, my car needs shocks, my husband’s truck needs a bunch of stuff, our debt is insane and I haven’t found a job or sold any art yet.
I am stressed to say the least. So much so , that I am not sleeping well. I am having bizarre dreams (like I was someone trying to drive myself on a snowmobile to find a PS3 controller, bizarre!). My husband is also stressed, he is thinking of trying to find another job. Since he is a carpenter he already works hard, now he may be working even harder. To add insult to injury my Uncle was in an accident (amazing he lived), my Aunt was diagnosed with cancer, my Great Aunt died, and a close family friend was given about 6-8 months to live. This all occurred in the same week my Ex sued for money. Yep. What a week. Can’t say I have been feeling all that “happy”.
I am still hopeful and grateful though. How you ask? Well.. My Uncle and Aunt are still alive, the friend has time for God to do a miracle, my Great Aunt is probably waaaay more chipper than me now that she is with Jesus, and I found out I have been healed enough that I was able to pray for my Ex even in the middle of the mess. All good things…
“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” Romans 8:28
So, we are praying daily (at least I am), and we are trying to wait on the Lord. I personally have been praying very frequently, just to try and stop the hamster in my brain from continually going. I also have been listening to podcasts from various pastors (mainly Chuck Swindoll because I like his messages and voice). But to be honest it only seems to help stop the continual thoughts for a short time.
‘Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know.’Jerimiah 33:3
I actually explained to Lord that I can see how people get so down and hopeless that they think the only way out is suicide. I don’t think of suicide as an answer what so ever. It has not been something I have ever thought about. But, I can see the tunnel of hopelessness that a person can start to travel down, and I can imagine that without God things would look really bleak. I mean to be real, I am not seeing the other end of the tunnel yet and I am going completely on faith that he will provide for us, which is rather difficult after so long.
We made this mess by ourselves for the most part because we took loans to pay for my schooling and for my car and house and various things we wanted or “thought” we “needed”. Had we done what we should have as far as the bible instructs, we wouldn’t have borrowed any money, and we would have really prayed about my schooling before jumping in.
But, we didn’t….so we are where we are now.
The bible tells us:
“The rich rules over the poor, and the borrower is the slave of the lender”. Proverbs 22:7
“Owe no one anything, except to love each other, for the one who loves another has fulfilled the law.” Romans 13:8
“Be not one of those who give pledges, who put up security for debts. If you have nothing with which to pay, why should your bed be taken from under you?”Proverbs 22:26-27.
“Keep your life free from love of money, and be content with what you have, for he has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.” Hebrews 13:5
Clearly had we been reading and following the bible as we should have, we would have been keenly aware that owing the bank or anyone is a bad idea. Yes, most people can’t afford a home without a banks help. Also, we would have also read that what we need, and what we want are two different things.
So, as I wait for the Lord to answer my prayers as I know he will, one way or the other, I will keep hold of the following passages:
“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can anyone of you by worrying add a single hour to your life? “And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you-you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. (Matthew 6:25-34)
“Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:6-7
“And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus.” Phillipians 4:19
“Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid. (John 14:27)
“Now may the Lord of peace himself give you peace at all times and in every way. The Lord be with all of you”. (2 Thessalonians 3:16)
“Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said, “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.” So we say with confidence, “The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid. What can mere mortals do to me?” (Hebrews 13:5-6)
“When I am afraid, I put my trust in you.” (Psalm 56:3)
I will hold to these passages because they are the Lords truthful words and they clearly tell us that he will meet our needs (not wants), and he is aware of our situation. I get comfort from these passages because the Lord promises to take care of me and my family. Do I have any clue how? No. That doesn’t matter though does it? I mean we are talking about the God of the Universe. I also, have been reminding myself that the bible also says:
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11
“Every valley shall be raised up, every mountain and hill made low; the rough ground shall become level, the rugged places a plain, And the glory of the Lord will be revealed, and all people will see it together.For the mouth of the Lord has spoken.” Isaiah 29:11
The bottom line is that if we are good stewards of the Lords money these stresses are not a part of our lives, or at the very least we can weather them more easily. If however, we are not good stewards of his money, then we have to understand that those choices are going to have consequences. I believe after reading about this in the bible and going through this trial that money is truly the root of all evil. It’s also what our society says is important, which is why Christians as well as non-Christians seek it. There are so many wonderful things that could be done with money as a Christian, such as food, drink, clothes for those less fortunate. I am grieved that due to stupid impatient decisions I can’t help other financially. Yes, we try in other ways, but it would be great to be spot financially where we could help someone in a significant way.
I pray the Lord will help us out of the pit we are in, but as I am down here I am trying to learn the lesson God has in this for me, because I REALLY don’t want to keep slugging around this mountain over and over. I think money as a Christian should be more emphasised in church. As I have experienced it, the only thing mentioned is regarding tithing (which we always do, and which I firmly believe God has blessed us for doing, not in money but other ways). I think it’s really a topic that deserves more emphasis. Just look at the various verses I included in this blog post. Clearly God has a point to make about money, worry and anxiety. I think Christians need to hear that point and to be made aware that all is never lost. God can do miracles and we need to pray and believe that he will deliver us some way.
As I close, I would like to ask that anyone reading this blog think about praying for us to have God reveal the answer/plan to our situation, and to show us the open door/window we need to take. I ask this humbly. Thank you.