I was watching TV (just some sitcoms). The thing that I noticed is that there is a trend in these shows to make it sound that being a woman and being vulnerable in any way is not ok. I noticed that the message on these shows is that women are not to be vulnerable, specifically in regard to husbands and boyfriends. Around other women is more acceptable.
They generally show women as man haters, who are disrespectful to their husbands and boyfriends. They usually show women as raising their son’s to believe that something is wrong with them because they are not emotional enough. Due to this view, the world views how women are to act, as being independent and strong without wanting any support from men in any way.
The world makes “Princess” a bad word for women. Well, as a Christian woman I am a “Princess”, because I am the daughter of the Lord God Almighty. So, what is wrong with being a “Princess”? The world says to be a “Princess” means you are “whiney”, “demanding”, “spoiled”, “pampered” , and a “diva”.
What if “Princess” meant “loved”, “honoured”, “cherished”, ”special”, and “unique”. I like being treated as though I am a “Princess”, treated like I am a special and unique woman that my husband cherishes and desires. I want my husband to be my knight in shining armour; I want him to be my protector, my provider, my lover, and my friend. I want to be honored by him, seen as unique and special to him.
I want to be able to be vulnerable, and know that I am safe to be so. I don’t want to be a man hater or feel I need to have walls built to keep from being hurt. When I first met my husband I was very angry and full of hurt. I had a lot of issues opening up to him and allowing him to see my softer side. He found this very difficult as he wanted to be my strong husband. He has worked very hard over the years to develop trust with me so that I would feel I could show vulnerability.
The world however, says that as a woman I should not allow my husband to be my protector or provider. The world says that if I do, then I am not being a strong woman, they say I am not being a “woman”. I’ve experienced other women responding with contempt when I have told them of times when I needed to have my husband be my “Knight”.
What does that say about how women view being vulnerable or letting the men in our lives care for us? The funny thing is when men are not caring or sensitive to their wives then the world says they are not caring enough. Yet, if they try to care for the women in their lives the way God made them to (by fixing, protecting, providing and being a strong stable man they can lean on) they are “macho”, ignorant, dominating, controlling.
Well, as a Christian woman who has had many hurts, and who built the wall of China around my heart and feelings for many years, I don’t want to be alone any longer without that “Manly” support. I get great comfort knowing that my husband will wrap me in his arms when I am hurting, not letting me just “handle it” on my own.
Yes women can be strong, and independent, no, they don’t have to act as the “weaker sex” (by the way as representations of God I’d say we can never be that, and if someone tells a woman they are weak, ask them if they think God is weak) or run to their husbands or boyfriends at every little thing. However, as Christian women, we shouldn’t push aside the tender parts of who we are simply because the world says we should, so that we are not reliant on men. We were made by God so that men are reliant on us and we are reliant on men as a perfect balance, just like Gods perfect balance of his aspects.
I have been trying to teach my daughter to allow herself to be vulnerable (not weak) to her boyfriend now, and her future husband (whenever that is), because it will allow her to be a more tender and warm partner and mother. I am trying daily to allow my husband into the tender parts of my being that make me who I am. I am trying to continue to tear down the wall and let him in. It’s hard, but he has told me how important it is to him to feel needed in that way. He told me that he wants me to enjoy being myself, and a woman, and let myself be a “Princess”. Although to him I am his “Queen”.